Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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