She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
