return my video game
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
