even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
