I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
