Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
