windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
