none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
