Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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