he told me I talked like a deaf person
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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