five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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