You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
