alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
