She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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