There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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