and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
