Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
