It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I forgot how hot balto sounded
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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