to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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