Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
