I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
