Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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