I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
