I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
