Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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