i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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