Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It was a blind-side dick pic.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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