someone threw a dead crab at me
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Dick very happy bro
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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