its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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