I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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