whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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