How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
