I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
