hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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