i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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