My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
