i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
