I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
