she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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