Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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