HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
