I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
