dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
