This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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