u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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