I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Randomize
