idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
