I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
