I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
