I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
