I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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