nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Actions speak louder than pants.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
