why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
40s are totally the cure
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
